“Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.”
I think that forgiveness is talked about more in the Bible than any other topic. Maybe love is talked about more, but then again love and forgiveness are inextricably linked with each other. Really, you could say that this is what the entire Bible is really about: forgiveness and reconciliation–God’s forgiveness of and reconciliation with every human being and every human being’s reconciliation with one another.
“If anyone has a complaint against another, forgive each other.” Colossians
“Just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.” Colossians
“We do not live to ourselves, and we do not die to ourselves. . . . whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord’s. For to this end Christ died and lived again, so that He might be Lord of both the dead and the living. Why do you pass judgment on your brother or sister? . . . For we all stand before the judgment seat of God.” Romans
“You have heard it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be children of your Father in heaven.” Matthew.
“For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you; but if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” Matthew
“Never avenge yourselves.” Romans
“If you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” Matthew
Jesus forgave as he was taken to the cross, he forgave as he hung on the cross.
I could go on and on for a very long time. But I won’t because I think you get my point.
Forgiveness is primary to Christianity, it is primary to our identity as Christians, we must forgive as Christians. So why then isn’t there more forgiveness in the world? There are an awful lot of Christians on this planet, but there doesn’t seem to be a whole lot of forgiveness. There are many people in this country who would like to see us continue to be a “Christian” nation, a country based in Christian principles, yet as far as I can see we are not a forgiving people overall. Why is this? Why is it so hard to forgive?
You may remember a terrible incident almost 20 years ago when a very disturbed man entered a schoolhouse in Nickel Mines Pennsylvania and shot 10 girls, killing 5 of them, before turning the gun on himself. 6 lives lost, 4 more changed forever, and a community filled with pain and anguish. But what stunned most of the country was not the crime but was instead the response of the community. The Amish immediately forgave the killer and forgave his family. Members of the Amish community went to the widow’s house. They have raised money to help the widow of the murderer and her children. They attended the murderer’s funeral. Books and movies and documentaries have been made about all of this, because it was so surprising to so many Americans that the Amish responded the way that they did. It wasn’t the murders that left us stunned, it was the forgiving response of the Amish. But why were we so surprised? The Amish are Christians after all, and for every Christian, Amish or otherwise, forgiveness is central to our faith.
So why is it so hard to forgive? First of all, there seems to be a natural revulsion against it. There seems to be something hardwired within us to desire revenge. For some it may feel like forgiving makes you a doormat or is a sign of weakness. If I forgive, I am letting the perpetrator get away with it and walk all over me. For others forgiveness appears unfair. Shouldn’t we seek justice? Shouldn’t the person who did wrong have to pay? Sometimes we withhold forgiveness because we feel that in doing so we punish and hurt the other person and we want to give them back some of the pain they have caused us. For others it feels like in forgiving we condone the other person’s bad acts.
So, if forgiveness is so hard why bother to forgive? Why can’t we just hold on to our grudges? Why can’t we seek vengeance? Why can’t we try to make ourselves feel better by getting payback?
Well, we should try to forgive first and foremost because we have been forgiven. We too hurt and wrong other people. Every human being has done something to another person and something to God for which we need to be forgiven. None of us is perfect. God has forgiven us, and others in our lives have forgiven us, so we too need to forgive. This is God’s plan for healing us individually and healing the creation as a whole. This is why the Amish forgave. They take literally the words of the Lord’s Prayer: “Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us.” For the Amish, forgiving the sins of others and being forgiven by God are inextricably linked in a circle. God forgives us so we forgive others. We forgive others so God forgives us.
The second reason is because the alternative is not worth it. So, we don’t forgive. What are we left with? Rage, anger, bitterness and hate. The problem with getting even is that it never happens. Getting even can never give you back what was taken from you. Seeking revenge would not have brought those little girls back to the Amish community. Revenge forever chains victims and offenders to the wrongdoing, with both parties hopelessly stuck on a merry-go-round of pain where each takes turns hurting each other. “If we all live by the law an eye-for-an-eye,” cautioned Gandhi, “soon the whole world will be blind.” Only forgiveness liberates us from a painful past to a brand-new future. Not to forgive is to suffer endlessly the pain of our past. Only forgiveness sets us free.
And finally, we forgive because forgiving others offers witness that we ourselves have been forgiven. The Amish forgave because God forgives them, they forgave to free themselves from the endless cycle of pain that revenge would have left them in, and they forgave to show the world the forgiveness of God.
Then Peter came up to Jesus and said to him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times seven, but seventy times seven.” Matthew
Let us pray:
Lord, make us instruments of your peace. Where there is hatred, let us sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is discord, union; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; where there is sadness, joy. Grant that we may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood as to understand; to be loved as to love. For it is in giving that we receive; it is in pardoning that we are pardoned; and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. Amen.
